The weather here seemed to change overnight this year. It felt like we went from T-shirts and shorts to, “Where are my kids’ winter coats, hats, gloves, and boots?” Despite the time of year and the region I live in, the cold weather caught up on me this year and I was unprepared. Going through bins of winter gear, I searched for the accessories that would keep my children’s fingers and toes warm over the next several months.
As I dug through clothes, I thought about our plans for the winter months. Sledding, skiing, ice skating, and hours and hours of play building forts, snowmen, and angels in the snow. My kids love the outdoors, even in the cooler months. I think it comes from the positive association they have with being outside with friends and family — and that they stay warm despite the colder temps. Knowing we could almost certainly guarantee good company again this year, I started working on my list of items to ensure they would stay dry and comfortable, warm and cozy.
Starting my mental list of winter clothing and accessories, I thought about the other lists families are making during this time of year. Kids are writing and drawing their lists to Santa and adults are making their own lists — gifts to buy, holiday decor to put up, and meals to plan for. Fortunately for adults, everywhere we look there seems to be ideas for these lists. Catalogs filled with toys, magazines with ideas for holiday decor and recipes, and blogs full of gift guides for a variety of age groups.
Throughout many of those gift guides, many offer the option of moving beyond commercial gifts and focus more on the benefits of gifting experiences together. Memberships to the zoo and museums, tickets for a show, and even vacations. I imagine many airlines and travel companies are seeing a surge in their demand as families gift trips and plan travel to see each other.
However, with the COVID-19 pandemic still circulating, experiences might not be as high on some families’ lists. Others might find with decreased capacities, they sell out quickly. And some people might wonder if they are really worth the price tag this year?
But I sometimes wonder, Are we perhaps making even gifting experiences too commercialized? Are we making them more complicated than they need to be?
I thought about that for my own kids as they worked on their lists for Santa. I thought about the experiences I could gift them this year as they made their lists of toys, books, and a new pair of gloves for the snow.
As I thought about the lists I was making, including one for winter apparel, I reflected on a time when my family was not prepared for the cold, wintery elements. My oldest was two years old and his younger brother was an infant. When the first snowfall came, my son longed to get outside and play in it. I remember him sitting by our kitchen door one afternoon staring out at it. Juggling a newborn, the exhaustion and the household responsibilities, nap time was reserved for laundry and other tasks. Not finding the time in our day to bundle up and venture outside, I remember bringing in a few scoops of snow and placing it on a mat in our kitchen. There he sat in front of a pile of snow to play in until his hearts content — or until it melted, whichever came first.
As the snow piled up over the next few days that year, I knew I needed to prioritize getting him out to play. Lacking proper attire for his infant brother and enough hours of daylight, I decided to wait one evening until my baby fell asleep and then venture out with my two year old. Grabbing the baby monitor, bundling myself and my two year old up, we went outside on our front lawn to play under the stars. The lights from our front door lit up the snow. We explored the crunching snow beneath us with flashlights and sat in our snow pants staring up at the moon above us. The quiet, illuminated sky seemed almost magical — a moment in my son’s childhood that I will always remember. That was an experience. After that evening, I made sure to invest in quality winter attire for both of us, knowing we would be spending a lot more time outside in the snow. And a few years later, when I had another newborn at the very beginning of the cold months of winter, at the top of my holiday lists were warm layers and accessories that would keep him warm so we could all venture outside on the days the weather cold but still amenable to getting us all outside for some fresh air.
Last winter, we spent many mornings and afternoons bundled up outside enjoying the snow. We built forts and made snow castles. My older two boys turned snow piles into horses yelling, “Yee-haw!” and we celebrated our favorite football team entering the play-offs with a backyard tailgate in January. Beyond sledding, skiing, and ice skating, it was those experiences outside that brought us together and warmed our hearts despite the long, cold days that surrounded us.
Parents, grandparents, and extended family members as you consider gifting experiences with the children you adore, I wonder if you might consider the more simple ones this year.
In my son’s room, next to his bed, is a photo of him and my mom from a few years ago posing next to a snowman they built. Smiling faces in that photo reflecting the joy that had playing in the snow, building a snowman and making snow angels. My mom grinning ear to ear and appearing particularly youthful despite an afternoon spent troubleshooting how to make a snowman despite snow that wasn’t particularly amenable to it. Finally, my dad had grabbed a few boxes and used them to pack snow in, eventually shaping that wet snow into a structure that is now pictured in a photo beside my son’s bed — the caption surrounding that photo reading, “Love you to the moon and back.” A reminder of the two people he shared that special day with. That was an experience.
I have heard over the years countless times that children need to get outside and play. I have read the benefits of outdoor play on their health, both physical and mental. But what I have never read is that children only need to be outdoors a few months a year, only during the summer, only when it’s warm. I have never heard that. Certainly, there are extremes of heat and weather patterns like ice and hail that will lead me to bring my kids indoors. But I think there are many more opportunities for children to be outdoors than we often give them. And kids need to be outside throughout the year.
Is it really too cold? Or are we not dressing them and ourselves appropriately?
I remember a neighbor commenting a few years ago on my son’s Sorel boots — he was a toddler and that seemed like a hefty price tag for a pair of boots. Except that my son spent hours and hours in the snow that year, splashing in cold puddles from melted snow and running on icy surfaces before I could remind him to be careful — staying warm, dry, and upright. He has since passed those boots down to his brothers and they have been worn by many cousins in between. Outlasting many other boots, those boots have been an investment.
Is it really too cold? Or are we not ready to experience the weather with them?
Last year my husband and I got ourselves ready to celebrate and embrace the changing seasons with bells on — quite literally. One afternoon I got a grand idea to decorate our playground with lights and stickers that looked like a gingerbread house, adding a blow-up reindeer and Santa display, we could create the North Pole! My husband laughing at me and knowing he would be the labor of that idea, graciously got on board. The joy on our children’s faces when we turned their dark, quiet backyard into a bright, cheery North Pole — that was an experience.
Less expensive than several tickets to a holiday show, that was entertainment that lasted for weeks. Inviting family members over to our backyard, they played together, my children sending gifts brought to them down their slide like a chute for presents in a toy factory. My children escaped to a world of make believe, unleashing their imaginations in a positive way despite it being a time in their youth that I would have never imagined they would have endured.
Living in the Northeast and approaching freezing temperatures, I am focusing my thoughts on the cold weather ahead in a positive light. And as I put together holiday lists for my kids, I am thinking about gloves and hats and thick coats. The attire that will keep them warm and offer us months of experiences that have been shown to be positive for them — outside in the fresh air.
Thinking about my own family outdoors in the rain and snow, I also think about how important it is for them to see other people out. In the summer, we see our neighbors and community, outside smiling and waving. That sense of community is rich and important for our sense of belonging. Unfortunately, with so many children and adults heading indoors on those rainy and snowy days, we don’t see those faces smiling and waving. The positive emotions from others that can have a positive, rippling effect on all of us.
Some of my most memorable interactions with members of my community have been when they see my family out for a walk on a rainy day. Just a few weeks ago, one couple yelled across the road to us, “It’s a great day for a walk, isn’t it?!” The rain pouring down on all of us felt like an opportunity for growth and renewal, instead of a burden, highlighted by their warm smiles and boisterous waves across the street.
As adults we need proper attire to be outside too, welcoming children outdoors and creating the positive associations with nature and fresh air they so desperately need.
So this year, along with new gloves for my kids, my husband will be getting a new pair of winter boots — ones without holes that leak.
Kids need more than a room filled with toys and a calendar full of fancy experiences, they also need the simple experiences that are important today and will prime them for the important ones tomorrow. Their childhood needs to be filled with moments of unorganized play, outside throughout the year, with the people they love who love them unconditionally in return.
So perhaps as you make your holiday lists this year, rather than the traditional gift guides for toys and pricey experiences, invest in quality boots for your children or grandchildren, hats and gloves that keep them warm and dry, and coats that provide a barrier to the cold. Perhaps, a few lights, stickers, and blow-up reindeer could create a world of play in their backyard. Toys that scoop sand, can scoop snow. A new sled is always a better gift, when someone they love hops on with them. Trips to the zoo are a whole new experience in snowpants.
And when boots and gloves seem boring, be creative. Put a matchbox car in the soles of shoes or palms of gloves for them to find — kids love a scavenger hunt. And as they put them on, invite them outside for a story time with cookies and warm cocoa.
We make attire seem boring when it really just depends on the presentation. With the right amount of playfulness and creativity, boots can be fun. A little sense of magic and a simple pair of shoes might just bring you all closer, might just make you all feel like there really is no place like experiences at home — together.
One particular quote I enjoyed reading as I searched for articles about the importance of outdoor play was from the journal of Contemporary Pediatrics article entitled, “Nature Play: A Prescription For Healthier Children.” The quote reads, “We are fond of recalling the old saying that there is no bad weather, only bad clothing choices.”
You don’t need much of an imagination for these experiences, children have ones that are waiting for you to join them.
More resources for you and your families below.
https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/6-reasons-children-need-to-play-outside-2018052213880
https://www.nytimes.com/2018/07/16/well/writing-prescriptions-to-play-outdoors.html
While I hope you enjoy reading my posts, kindly be advised that the words in this article are not medical advice and I cannot guarantee that they will work for you or your family. They are my reflections on parenting my three boys, based on my own personal background and experiences. Always reach out to your own health professionals for any questions or concerns. Please read my full disclosure at the bottom of this site for more information. Very sincerely, Mamma P.
