This summer was BANANAS. I truly cannot remember a summer like this one. A summer that despite fighting hard for the simple moments, I felt like I just couldn’t. I prioritized, reprioritized, attempting to clear out what was unnecessary and still found myself longing for those peaceful moments of summer, the simple parts of summer I had hoped for. Those moments where the warm summer breeze takes ahold of you and you feel completely care free, with the sounds of the ocean drowning out any other noise that clutters the mind — but those moments were harder to find this summer.
It felt like every time I swept up one disaster, I turned around only to find another one. My kids didn’t seem to notice, they had a great summer. And I felt incredible support as my family and friends chipped in to help me with my boys, offering childcare and playdates. But every week, despite sincere attempts, I felt like I just couldn’t quite get back into our groove — each new mess throwing me off course. All I wanted was to desperately find our way back to our routine, our normal.
When our a/c broke and destroyed our furnace along with it, flooding our finished basement, the water pooling just inches away from where I had a water alarm that never went off, it felt very symbolic. Our summer felt like a flood of unexpected events one after another, and we had the water damage to prove it.
I found it ironic that I chose the summer theme to be “Simple Summer Stories.” Despite having a whole summer where I never missed a day writing in 2021 on my own personal accounts about the simple parts of summer, I could barely muster a few posts this summer. This summer did not feel easy and many days I was just trying to catch my breath. It was busy, it had conflict, and it was not simple. I suppose I could have twisted our days, posted quickly to have something to post, but that is not my writing style. And I wanted this blog to be authentic, practical, and true.
But each day, I would wake up and find inspiration in a quote that I have pinned on my photo board in my office. It is one of my favorite quotes from someone I admire very much in the field of pediatrics. Her name is Dr. Moira A. Szilagyi and she is the current President of the American Academy of Pediatrics. Her words often gave me peace and comfort as I prepared myself for a new day of the same chaos on repeat.
Dr. Szilagyi wrote in one of her articles, “At some point, adversity befalls us all. And it is in the everyday moments between a child and their attuned, attentive, nurturing caregiver that the ordinary magic of resilience evolves and children thrive.”
When I first read that quote, I thought about it in terms of building resiliency in kids. And I found comfort that even though I wasn’t spending the whole day with my kids berry picking and splashing in pools, wandering through farm markets and baking summer pies, as long as I found time to connect with them in the everyday moments of brushing their teeth, reading them stories, and eating dinner seated next to them, my kids were going to be ok.
But as the summer progressed and I sat at my desk making phone calls to contractors and calling for quotes to replace our a/c and furnace, I would look up at that quote and I started to think about how it also applied to resiliency within me. Those everyday moments with my kids, the positive times I saw them laughing and knew we were still connecting, they provided me with the energy to keep tackling each new mess, even as they kept re-accumulating.
But I found, it was also those everyday moments between myself and my support system that was also helping me tackle each new mess as it came. It is also within those everyday moments between a parent and their support system, that the magic of resilience evolves in moms and dads and the family unit thrives.
We all face moments and periods of adversity in our lives and it is through the nurturing support of those around us and the attention to our struggles, that provides us with the compassion, the strength, and the validation in knowing we aren’t alone. And that is everything for families.
Throughout the chaos of this summer, I never felt alone. I did have to reprioritize and that meant I didn’t post very much this summer. I knew at the end of some of our days of cleaning up messes, my kids needed the extra attention I might have given to this blog. Writing would have been an obligation, instead of a release. My kids would have taken a backseat to the “commitment” I made to this blog. And I wasn’t going to let the “to do list” take over.
Over the years, I have become very comfortable in knowing that throughout my life, I’m going to need to reprioritize. Sometimes that means I’m going to need to take a step back from this blog to refocus on building my career again or giving attention to my kids who might be struggling with something. I might have things pop up unexpectedly and be forced to put my energy and time towards something else.
From time to time, a ball is going to need to be placed out of the rotation, to keep the family balanced and working together, to keep the other balls from falling and crashing down. I have started to look at parenting less about the commitments and keeping all of the balls up in the air, and instead, gracefully putting one down and taking on what I know my family and I can handle, knowing I can always pick it back up again when I’m ready.
And I am comfortable with this because I suspect you didn’t all come here with the expectation of a weekly post, but instead meaningful content. And I consider you all part of my village. The kind of people who understand that when adversity hits, I’m going to need to push pause on this blog. But who also know as soon as the opportunity arises, we will reconnect. And it is my sincere hope that once I’m back to blogging, you will all tune in with the same attention and enthusiasm as you had when this blog was first launched. It is through your support that this blog grows and the true mission is accomplished — more support for families and their children. In supporting me as I return with great excitement for my fall theme, you are all part of my village, knowing there are no supermoms. And I am especially, not one of them.
As the fall approaches, I’m not sure we have totally found our groove in my home but there is an end is sight to the messy piles that kept accumulating in our lives. One after another, we have cleaned them up and have come to accept that sometimes life is just going to be messy.
But its time to get back to writing. And I am thrilled to share my 2022 Autumn Theme will all of you very soon.
Thanks for being here and welcoming me back to this virtual village of growing the support system we all need to raise healthy kids!
