The past few weeks, my posts have been focused on the importance of reading to our children to promote healthy growth and development. Reading to our kids is not only important for their language development and school readiness but it is also a tool that can build strong relationships between children, their parents, and other trusted adults. These safe, stable and nurturing relationships, which reading books together can help foster, have been shown to buffer kids against adversity. Furthermore, according to the fourth edition of the American Academy of Pediatrics Bright Futures Guidelines for Health Supervision of Infants, Children, and Adolescents, reading to children before the age of five is one of several protective factors which can positively influence the trajectory of a child’s health throughout their life. This guideline has placed an incredible emphasis on the importance of safe, stable and nurturing relationships between parents and their children in raising healthy infants, toddlers, children and teenagers.
As a parent trying to raise healthy children over the past few years, I have often spent most of my time focused on ensuring they had adequate exercise, sleep, and nutrition. And while reading to my kids was a part of our everyday, I think I underestimated how important those moments flipping through a book together really were. Books provide our kids with so more than just a bed time routine.
Reading to our kids is good for us too. It can build our confidence and it can be empowering for us as parents, knowing this simple activity can be important for our children not only today and tomorrow, but it can also have lifelong benefits to their health. And if we think about bang for our buck, it’s often a lot easier to get our kids to read with us than it is to get them to eat their peas. I still offer the peas, but I stress less when they end up on the floor that night and I settle for finishing the day with a good story time.
Interestingly enough, sometimes with more positive story times throughout the day, I start to notice some of those other healthy lifestyle choices I’m trying to promote, start to fall into place. Feeling connected to me, my kids are often far more willing to follow through with bedtime routines and try a new food. Story times, even short ones, before dinner have become a parenting strategy in my home as much as they are fun and enjoyable.
But I’ve said a lot of this in my other posts, so what else do I have to share with dads, specifically? Well, if you are one of the many fathers out there who couldn’t wait until your kids were old enough to act silly with you, laugh at your dad jokes, play ball in the backyard and wrestle on the living room floor, then this post is for you. I am going to share the ways my family and I have brought the books we love to life. How we made difficult times, silly and funny by reading stories and then making them part of our day, igniting our children’s imaginations and running with them.
One of my favorite examples of how we did this in our home over several months started with a book that Dr. Seuss wrote — The Lorax.
During the spring of 2020, I was surfing the web, looking for an Earth Day project I could do with my preschoolers. A quick search brought me to Dr. Seuss’s, The Lorax. I had never read the book and certainly, didn’t know a movie existed. When the book arrived in the mail, my kids and I opened it and we were immediately enthralled. Although, it was probably my husband who had the most profound reaction — he is otherwise known as Captain Planet. And with minimal effort, I found our Earth Day project. Exploring Seussville.com, I found printable activity sheets that went along with the story. Printing them out, we colored mustaches and attached them to wooden rods. We quoted the Lorax and in unison, held them to our lips while we read. Using those wooden rods with a piece of paper attached to them with tape became the activity each night that brought the book to life for us, and we giggled over the ridiculousness of all four of us having mustaches.
Positioning those mustaches, we read that book so many times that spring, each of us were the Lorax, and promptly, in charge of “speaking for the trees.” Reading that book connected us to nature in a way that was unexpected, new, and embraced. We hiked more than ever before that spring of 2020. And I remember watching my kids run freely through those trees, still able to experience many important aspects of their childhood, just as they should. Coming home from one of those hikes, we ordered pizza and watched The Lorax together.
It also turns out, that book had been a favorite in my son’s preschool classroom that year. I had no idea until he told me but I could see it connected him to the teachers and friends, he dearly missed.
That book has been a family favorite now for two years. My husband and I even read it for a virtual story time for our son’s kindergarten class. And now in the back of our house, within our landscaping, is a stone that reads: Unless. If you aren’t familiar with the story, I will share a quote my son said to me one day when I was trying to figure out a problem. Overhearing his mom speak as he played, he looked up and said, “Mom, unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better, it’s not.” He was right. Unless.
Connecting with your child’s favorite characters also shows them you value their interests. As you read to them, embrace the characters in the books with silly voices. Make animal noises as you read along to books with zoos and farms in them, cracking your best dad jokes along the way. Kids love to laugh and their laughter is incredibly contagious. As you continue to read to them and embrace stories with their favorite characters, they will begin to associate these characters with some of their best times — time spent with you. And if you’re lucky, you can find your child a stuffed animal, sweatshirt, blanket, backpack or lunchbox with a favorite character from the books you read together that can later function as a transitional object — which is something a child can take with them when they are facing a new situation. Whether its bedtime, school, or a night away at grandma’s, that object can remind them of the safe, stable, and nurturing relationship they have with their dad and bring them comfort.
If you don’t know what interests your child or are looking for more books to add to your collection, I included an article below from PBS, “How to Make the Most of Your Local Library.” This article includes how using a child’s favorite character can even entice them to feel more comfortable visiting their local library too.
I have seen my husband use books as effective forms of transitions in our home too. From meltdowns to story time, the behavior is diffused, discussed, and then often dissolves. Just the other day, my son was having a meltdown and my husband brought him aside, sat down with him, and they discussed his behavior. Instead of quickly moving on to the rest of the day, my husband sat with him and they read a book. It set the tone for the rest of the afternoon and evening. Reading together is positive and calming, and can be a very effective way to transition kids out of a meltdown and redirect them to something positive.
Reading is also a way to transition from a sad or frustrating part of the day, to a bright spot. Sometimes it’s hard to know what to say to a kid when they are disappointed or sad but often they don’t need us to fix the problem, they just need us. On a tough day, I will lead my boys into our play room, grab a few books, and just plop down and start reading. Sitting there on the floor, it is a healthy escape as we head into a world of imagination…together.
Read to your kids anywhere that is comfortable for you. Set up a tent or a fort and read inside there. Sit at the dining room table, or sit under the dining room table. Sit inside. Or sit outside. Make up a fun spot just for you and your child. If you have more than one child, let them each have their own and then make up another spot where you all convene to read together.
Many popular books on the market now have websites associated with them where you can explore activities to do with your children. Some of them include tips and recipes for cooking with kids, activity pages, and fun interactive games to play or projects to build.
So when my kids aren’t eating their broccoli or chicken despite all the dips. When my kids are having problems sleeping. And when they are continuously arguing, I turn to reading. I take the pressure off of myself, and I just read to them. I know my brain will go right back to troubleshooting strategies for sleep and eating peas, but for a short period, I don’t worry about those other healthy habits — because we are already doing one as we read.
Dads, reading to your children is incredibly important and lays the foundation for a strong relationship between you and your kids. You bring something different to story times than the other adults that read to them — your own unique interests and style. My husband reads lots of “how” and “why” books to my kids, exploring famous people and their stories, places to go and other topics that interest him. My husband loves to absorb knowledge and as he reads to my kids, he teaches them that passion for learning. He has a different style of reading from me, a different approach that my kids certainly benefit from. His reading compliments mine and his relationship with my kids just as important as the one they have with me. Having late nights at work, coming home for bedtime and reading to them has been a powerful way for my husband to connect with them in a short period of time.
So, once you found that special book that entices all of you, consider finding activities for the whole family.
I can’t actually make my kids eat a piece of broccoli or fall asleep. But I can always, pick up a book.
I hope you found this post helpful as I make a sincere attempt to write to dads. Having three boys, I imagine someday they may have their own children so I better start figuring out how to communicate to dads now. My hope is that if I can manage to foster strong relationships with my kids now, if I can keep up with the changes in parenting, and if I learn to speak with respectful tones and use communication that avoids conflicts, my kids might someday come to me for parenting advice.
Resources:
I am going to share several of these in another post in a few weeks but I wanted to give dads the opportunity to have them first. Have fun!
- Fun suggestions for keeping kids entertained with books. https://www.readbrightly.com/bookish-ways-keep-kids-entertained/?ref=PRHFA303F7AFB7F&linkid=PRHFA303F7AFB7F&cdi=1BA4A72E81E317A6E0534FD66B0ADF1F&template_id=24009&aid=randohouseinc23214-20
- This site from PBS allows you to select a character your child likes to read about and then select crafts or activities you want to do. You can build something with them or even color a book mark for your next story time. https://www.pbs.org/parents/activity-finder/ages-all/topics-all/shows-all/types-coloring-and-printable+craft-and-experiment+recipe
- Guide to an outing at your local library. https://www.pbs.org/parents/thrive/how-to-make-the-most-of-your-local-library
- Many options for incorporating some favorite Dr. Seuss books. My best example is the Lorax which I have included here, my family has had lots of fun with that one. Earth Day is coming up, perhaps you could make some mustaches and make a nature field guide! Once you get to the website, select parents, enter your birthday and it will bring you to several categories to choose from. https://www.seussville.com/
- An article specific to reading and learning with dad! https://www.seussville.com/activity/reading-and-learning-with-dad/
Get ready…get set…read! And enjoy!
